My Last Child Is On His Way

Pregnancy is tough emotionally, physically and mentally on me. I wish I could enjoy this time like the women on TV do but I can't, hell I don't. I'm having my fourth child 3 months from now and I'm going crazy! A lot of days I just feel so unattractive, so unhappy. I've birthed three 9 pound babies and I'm far from a big woman. My 5 foot 1 1/2 inch frame has been beat up by these children. I was almost 130 pounds before I got pregnant and I'm 150 already. I forgot how painful my 3rd child was on my body, mind and heart. When we decided #4 I didn't think back long or hard enough. I'm in pain daily! My pelvic bones have been damaged by the weight of the other 3 and I feel broken inside. I can't even walk around the grocery store without wanting to cry, can't enter or exit the bed without pain this mess sucks! I'm going to a maternity chiropractor Monday with hopes of being fixed. It's supposed to ease my pain and make my delivery easier and faster. Pray for me people. I considered having a c-section this time just to avoid breaking another of my children's collar bones but I'm afraid to get cut. My mid-wife has suggested I get induced two weeks early so my baby is smaller so that's what I may do. I'd love to get my tubes tied but I'm so afraid of that pain but God willing I will more then likely do it. Mostly because I never want to feel this kind of pain again, ever. My children are most definitely beautiful blessings but I need do other things with my life.