What Career I'm a Mom

So many thoughts come around when you look back on your life and realize that all of your dreams of success haven't been attained. I mean sure I've made some accomplishments but not nearly as many as I'd have liked to. I was the 1st in my family to graduate college in June of 2001, I'm raising my sister and have been since July 23rd of 2001, I've birthed 3 beautifully smart children and have my final on the way, I'm married and raising my husbands 4 year old son which is so stressful on us but I guess you do things for love and I recently wrote a children's book dealing with my own personal issues on a grander scale. Yet with all of that I still feel so far behind my time. Sure I could go back to school and get my masters but then what? Or I could test drive some internships to gain some hands on experience and try to discover my inner passions but then what? Hell I could continue to write books but my fear of success and being forced to leave my kids is just far too much for me to accept right now. So I remain stagnant and my hopes and dreams are just that. I've been a stay at home mom for 7 years! Ouch!!! I'm so attached to my kids and they to me that just the thought of not being with them daily makes me feel guilty. When their dad and I would take trips alone I'd be on an island some where crying because I felt bad that they were home crying because I wasn't there. Even though they absolutely drive me nuts most days I'd feel like I would be doing them such a disservice if I made attempts at a career or even a life outside of my family. I guess the truth is if I didn't have a husband able to care for us I'd be beating the pavement and working hard but since I do in some ways it just seems like a waste of time. If this marriage doesn't work out I'm sure I'll find out what it is to work and raise my babies. You only live once so holding back isn't necessary yet I can't seem to muster up the courage to do the things that rest on my heart. Help! I need a career that doesn't require my absence from my babies much outside of their school hours. Any suggestions?